I am blessed to be going down a road that only I can go down. It may take all types of twists and turns and may lead me into many dark alleys. But it’s a path and it’s the only path that I know. I know that I have the UNIVERSE behind me with every breath that I take and every moment that passes. I have EVERY manifestation that I am on the right road. Why? Because it’s the only road that I know. It’s the only road that exists. It’s the only road that exists for me.
It has been a road where I could claim that I’ve been stripped of all my skills, all my strengths, all my experiences…where I have been thrown under life’s ‘bus’ and where I am damaged forever. But really, in an ideal manifestation of reality, have I been damaged or perhaps have I been freed from an altered reality where there is no sense of whether it was congruent with who I was and with anything that I am about! The path that I am taking is the only relevant and necessary path. It is not a path worthy of shame. Why? Because even if I have 99 successes, there is absolutely no guarantee whatsoever that number 100 will align in the same way. I am not entitled to the next breath, the next heartbeat, the next ANYTHING. It could go away in a flash…..and it could re-emerge in another flash. This isn’t chaotic…It is simply A PATH. A trajectory that only I can take.
By being left bare, it allows ANYTHING to manifest at any time. Do you realize the extent of how things can emerge and HAVE EMERGED in this vulnerable state? It is like I am riding right on the edge of chaos and dissolution and also on the edge of a DIVINE ORDER. But I have to be authentic to myself and to literally ‘let the sunshine in’. I can’t force myself into situations that are inappropriate for my spirit and I also can’t not acknowledge my own needs. They have to be fully taken into consideration for me to live the type of authentic life that is congruent with who I naturally am.
I also have to allow myself to be ‘fooled’ by the Universe. I don’t run GOD! GOD runs me!!!!! I must let go of control and of expectations. Since my path is unique and since my path is the only path I know, whatever is meant to happen will happen DIVINELY!!!! I have no further choice in the matter, as my choice has been shown to be crushed and flattened, because I never really had a choice in the first place. My say in the matter is the biggest illusion here. Frankly, I would not be writing this if I got what I wanted. I would be living an alternate reality. Now I can speculate on a million alternate realities, but in the end, I need to reflect the most on the actual reality that I have…because that’s the one that I’m living, and again, that’s the only one that I know!
This is a blessing! Just think about it! To be consciously aware and to be dynamically breathing and pulsating with life. My gosh! To BE HERE NOW is the most precious gift. It’s such a grand gift. Fools may say that it’s a simple one because I am not the most ‘successful’ in their eyes. But this is an illusion! I can’t control how ‘successful’ I am using outer standards. But I can control the fact that I’m on a path and that it has an inherent trajectory. I am HERE and I am consciously aware. That’s the only thing truly controllable. The funny thing is that sages and gurus tell me that this is a Divine Essence. So there is obviously something really precious beyond price about the capacity to be fully aware. With awareness, anything can happen in the next moment. This fact is just so juicy. But I can’t make a concrete expectation, because I don’t really know what will happen. To predict it can turn out to be equally correct or incorrect; I simply don’t know. But that is the beauty of life! That is the beauty of being aligned with Divinity! One doesn’t know! One can’t claim to know! One only can LIVE! One can LIVE fully and with complete FAITH that the right path NEVER ceases. It can be a roller coaster ride, just like the book ‘Oh, the Places You’ll Go’. It has all sorts of ups, downs, and all-arounds. But that is life! There is nothing more or less to it. That is the only thing entitled to me. That alone is all the GRACE in the world that I could ever desire.
So I am blessed! There is no such thing as the illusion of a chaotic life. It is just as ordered as it ever was and ever will be. It just flows and emerges and is simply ideal and precious, in whatever way the path goes. Because it is my path, and it’s the only path that I could ever know!
